The narrator of the story recounts their experience of being hacked on Instagram during the Christmas holiday. They were in the middle of watching a show called “Babygirl” when they received multiple messages informing them of the hack. Upon checking their account, they discovered that the hacker had changed their email and taken over their account. Despite their efforts to contact Meta for support, they found no customer service line available.
The hacker proceeded to make changes to the account, including posting various content that seemed out of character for the narrator. Fortunately, their friend at Meta was able to help them regain access to the account after weeks of effort. To celebrate getting their account back, the narrator decided to rank the hacker’s posts based on how likely they would have posted them themselves.
The narrator advises readers to turn on two-factor authentication using an authenticator app to protect their accounts from being hacked. They then go on to list and analyze the posts made by the hacker. Each post is scrutinized for its content and likelihood of being something the narrator would actually post.
The story culminates with the top-ranked post by the hacker, which features a picture of a girl holding a puppy with the caption “Stop growing so fast.” The narrator expresses jealousy over this post, as they have a strong desire to have a dog but cannot afford one at the moment. They also humorously inquire about finding a good financial advisor who could help them make $20,000 in two hours, referencing a post made by the hacker.
Overall, the narrator’s retelling of their hacking experience provides a lighthearted and humorous take on a frustrating situation. They offer practical advice for protecting online accounts and share their personal reactions to the hacker’s posts, adding a personal touch to the story.